I have never felt freedom more than the first time I whispered “I am transgender” silently to myself.
I was alone.
My house was effectively empty less the loaded shotgun, empty Jack Daniels bottle, and foreclosure notices piled on the floor.
I had managed to scrape together an old 32 bit linux box of mine from way back when, and log into an IRC channel.
I sat on the floor.
I began talking with a complete and total stranger, who to this day is one of my best friends.
I love you Cora.
We exchanged a few messages.
.. I said it
That was it.
The magic moment.
It lasted no more than a second.
A single second.
A single breath.
Now my life since that moment has been everything but easy, I don’t even want to begin to tell you about the harassment I have been through just from saying “yes” to this idea.
But what I discovered was that no matter how hard life is, it’s always manageable when you love and respect yourself.
In fact, my “hard” life apparently wasn’t hard enough. I am now uncontrollably obsessed with mountaineering which inevitably makes my life even hard.
What can I say?
I love it.
I can’t help it.
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